I'm so stressed over this whole studying thing my hair is turning white. Why is time moving so fast ? Eldest brother is dropping by in 5 days and the approaching eid adds to the stress. There is so much house works to do I think November will end without me making any significant progress.

Stress relief doodle orzlll


and a couple of old sketches;
( Read more... )
I'm working hard. I hope something good comes out of it because if nothing happens, I'm so going to kill somebody D8<
I need to stop complaining and act like a tough man! I'll be fine. Thank you to everyone who left cheering comments on the previous entry. I really appreciate it. God knows how much I needed a hug that day T3T You all made me feel better.
Thank you ♥

Wow! It's been so long since I've last posted a proper update. So many have f-cut me but lol, I don't blame them. I'm practically dead here orz. Sorry about that once again and also for not commenting much to friend's entries. A lot has been going on in my life as of late it's hard for me to be active online and still take care of other offline matters. It's also why I closed my website for those who've been asking about it.

Currently I'm taking up A-Levels in three sciences; chemistry, physics & biology. My exam is due on January, 7th or someday around it so I have to give it my all since my entry to medical school depends on how I'll score in these exams. I'm a little bit worried since I'm sitting for the exam as a private candidate but I have confidence I'll make it through with a string of A's C=
Studying on my own is a little tedious but I'm trying my best to manage my time. I hope it'll go well. Wish me good luck everyone ♥

I'll still be drawing on weekends and so. I'll try to finish the artworks I owe to people but it'll take time. Lots of it. I know over the past year I've been taking ridiculously long times to get artworks done but I've had some issues that severely affected the way I look at my own crapart orz. I've spent my summer practicing on improving my shortcomings and I think I'm ready to say I'm somewhat satisfied with the progress I've made. I sure need to practice more there is still so much more to learn but I'm seeing things better now. I know I can do a better job with each drawing. Thanks alot to the two arrogant artists who rejected my finished commissioned images even though they did approved of it when it was still in drawing stages. They even refused presenting any reasons as to why so I could at least modify their images.
Usually I don't care much what everyone else think but these two particular artists happened to be ones I highly admired their art. They are still my idol artists but I can't understand why they did what they did.

I was upset over it for a very long time & this really shook my confidence as an artist. This incident made me take down my dA gallery for three months back in May but now that I look at it, I'm kinda grateful this happened. The actions of these two made me realize how deluded I was to even think my art is worth paying for let alone having someone with better art skills like it. This is also part of why I've kept the remaining commission requests on hold for this long especially that one of the requests is by another artist I greatly admire. I want to resume when I'm sure I can present something that worth what I'm being paid for. If my drawing was mediocre to some, I'm sure others think so as well but they are too nice to tell me. I just don't want what happened to repeat orz.

Tip for anyone out there who likes to commission artists. Don't request commissions from someone you don't like their style in drawing. It's pointless and hurts the artist really bad. Artists are usually not very good at handling rejection since they tend to be very sensitive about what they create and it means alot to them. I got over it & learned something from it but someone else might not.

I didn't want to talk about this but I needed to write it down.


Oh and I started watching Supernatural 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDD Dean is so cute ♥ Also, New House M.D. episodes are epic! and Merlin S2 is as cool as ever ♥3♥  I've always been bad at drawing real people but I really really want to draw Merlin, Arthur, Sam & Dean someday T3T ♥ I wonder when orz;

Long journal lol. Since site is closed, I'll be updating here more often. This time for real lol 8D

New LJ Layout 8'DDD


I hope it's not too dark for reading. I've got nothing to say so I'll just post some artworks and get back to my works.



( +4 under cut )

I'm sorry if you have to see these for the second time but only a handful visit my site so it's ok if I post these for those who don't go there 8D
*back to drawing*

I'm feeling so cranky today I'm trying to avoid contact with human beings so I won't say or do something I might regret later on. I hate it when this happens orz. There are so much things I want to do but I can't concentrate because I think I'm depressed or something. Idk but I'm not well which is unusual =w=; I hope I'm out of it soon because I can't afford to waste more time orz.
In the past three days, I've cleared some of my to do list but nothing art related. Finished the new layout for my website and I'm shocked how pretty it looks 8D lol. I still need to optimize it for Opera but it looks perfect in almost all other browsers. I also deleted more than half of my artworks online here and there, removed all old blog entries everywhere and most importantly, I feel so proud I fixed an impossible gallery script error when I know NOTHING about php and shit XDDD haha. I felt impressed with myself when I was done with the gallery lol 8D FYI, integrating ZenPhoto gallery script to your wordpress is a srz bznz for people like me who don't know their way around codes and function calling! Plus, only few can integrate it seamlessly lol hehe.
I still need to make the index page and finish the top image for it. My gallery is empty so I'll have to upload some images there too. Links section needs updating and I still haven't started working on the matching LJ layout.
Such a bad habit of wanting everything to match orzorzorzlllll

Anyways, some sketches;


Poofy hair lolool 8D I didn't notice until after I've scanned the image that his arm is very short orz. The hair looks so messy especially around the bottom but meh >_> I couldn't get it fixed any more than this.
I found out while drawing this that the papers of my sketchbook are of very bad quality. If I erase an area more than twice, the paper starts ripping little by little oAolll I think I'll have to drop by art supplies store someday OR live with that sketchbook and learn not to depend on eraser too much lol 8D


Hika chan's character Val. Instead of drawing random characters, I thought I'd draw all my friend's original characters or else, all the random boys I'll draw will end up naked because dressing them and designing outfits for them is such a pain I don't have time for it lol 8D Val looks really wonky compared to the real thing but first time sketches are always like that lol. He'll look better if I draw him again.


And Phoenix san's Silvador. It's almost finished but needs some fixing here and there, some texts, more playing with textures and a little color correction. I think I'll never release the uncropped version since it's too revealing (/3\*) and Phoenix might kill me for abusing her bishounen in such a perverted way loloolol 8D

Question
I wonder if OC owners hate it or like it when they receive fanarts ? I mean obviously, most of OC artists are always against fanarts but do they hate fanarts of their own characters as well ?
If you own an OC, do you mind seeing artworks that depict your characters without your persmission, of course when all credits are given to you clearly ? I suppose majority don't really mind it and some might feel flattered someone out there is liking their creation enough to want to draw them but say, I did something very kinky to one of your boys, would you, as the character's creator, feel bad ? offended ? O_O ?
I don't know. I have only one under-developed OC but I think I wouldn't mind if someone stripped him for a sexy pose lol.
I'm just worried my friends whose OCs I frequently draw might be hating or disliking me abusing their boys but they are too nice to tell me that ? idk >_> I guess I'm think too much =3=!

Note to self:
REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES AND E-MAILS DAMMIT OTLlllllllll

Meme snagged from Permanentwhite;

( meme time ~ )

Whoa~ This was long .. and fun 8D
And now for some artworks because I haven't posted any in a while.
Haruna Motoki from Ookiku Furikabutte. WHY DOES HE CHANGE IN EVERY PICTURE I DRAW OTLOTLOTL ;[];!
I suck so much at drawing teenager boys orz. I need a little bit shota skills so when I combine it with my current, I'll be able to draw proper teenagers ;__;
Long time no opencanvas ;3; I really missed that program so I colored this image with it.

( More under cut ... )

Also, a small WIP between commissions and art-trades sketchings .. Something random that was meant to be for another community's catboy club but since I quit that site, I'll just keep him to myself 8D

And this is all.
I feel very good these days and I think whatever I draw turn out unexpectedly ok lol. I hope this mood lasts for a long while.
Maybe it's an effect of the good weather nowadays ? So much rain showers and beautiful cold breeze ;3;
Seeing fluffy clouds in the clear blue sky makes me super happy :DDD

My sister introduced me to this awesome band called "Core of Soul" and ever since then, I'm pretty much addicted to their songs. I've listened to almost all of their music and I liked "The Best" album and "Natural Beauty" very much. I feel compelled to share their music with you guys and I'm sure you'll like it even if you aren't a fan of Jmusic :D

"Photosynthesis", "Angel", "Full Moon Prayer", "Ageha", "The spirit of this place", "Sweet Dreams" are few of my most favorites by CoS. You can download some from the links down =) and if you liked these, you can get the rest of the album from here. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Core of Soul - Full Moon Prayer [The Best] - 10.73 MB
Core of Soul - Angel [The Best] 8.66 MB

I'm particularly drawn to Angel's lyrics. The story it tells is so beautiful ♥

You called me "angel" & if I ever was
I flew down here a long time ago through a gap in clouds
I wanted to be ordinary to be loved by a man
But you came over and woke my memories up
And I fell in love with you

But I'm not an angel like the one you thought I would be
I flew high up in the sky but it was because of you
I'm not an angel like the one you thought I would be
I don't deserve the blue sky or a real angel like you

You said that I had wings & If I ever did
They were invisible all my life till they touched your lips
I wanted to fly again if you could take my hands
But my greed asked for both angel's wing & man's feet
So you were gone with the wind

So I'm not an angel like the one You thought I would be
Oh, how I miss to walk around in the endless sky you showed me
But I'm not an angel like the one you thought I would be
Maybe it was crucial that I envied your world

I'm not brave enough yet
Cuz I've been here too long, too long
That affection won't let me go

But you called me "angel" & if I ever was...

Too sad, CoS was disbanded in 2006 =( I wonder if the lead singer has released any new songs since then. Her voice is so beautiful ;_;

To make this post lengthy, have some quick doodles ...


( This is a cut to save space on your f-page 8D )
I'll try to come up with my own characters someday soon so that I'll victimize them instead of other people's OCs >8D

I spent another sleepless night thanks to my non-existent molar. I think it either still has parts of the roots inside my gum or a new molar is growing lol. It's weekend and no dentists are around today Orz.
Anyways, I was reading some blogs when I came across an interesting article of a neurotic person who has to shake salad dressing bottles every time he visits a grocery store or opens his fridge.
I've never noticed anything neurotic in my behavior but lol, after little thinking it seems like all of us have this side in our personality 8D
For me, I can’t change in a room with band/movie/anime posters or any kind of picture/object with eyes. I either have to cover them up or flip them lol. I also can't drink my tea unless I stir it exactly 10 or 30 times.

So, what are *your* neurotic habits 8D? Just out of curiosity and for amusement's sake.

And scraps,



I ♥ SAI~

A deadly toothache that's been inflicted upon my jaw for no apparent reason is going to kill me. Cavity is going to be the cause of my painful death and when people ask my family how I passed away, they can tell them it's because I had a damn crater in one of my molars Orz.
Unless, of course, I see a dentist AGAIN Orz Orz Orz

*swallows a handful of painkillers*



A non oofuri related doodle. Finally, Gintama is getting more and more serious. Episode 58 and 59 felt really weird. It's the first time in so long this series had no crack in one of it's episodes. At one point, I felt like I'm watching another anime 8D but it's all cool. Takasugi is ♥.
Still 40+ episodes behind T_T. Why is it that some really silly animes are being subbed by so many groups while something as cool and interesting as Gintama isn't getting any love ;_; Only Rumble subs are working on it and I'm so grateful to those guys T_T
Maybe I should draw them a giftart or something. They really deserve it ♥


And a BLOOD+ WIP. I'm rewatching the anime and downloaded 5 volumes of raw manga from somewhere  I don't remember now lol.
That makes me so much in the mood to draw more of it.


The manga is cute especially the past part where Hagi and Saya meet for the first time ♥, Hagi is not as stoic as he is in the anime.
Also, MANGA DIVA IS SUCH A LUNATIC BI*** （≡д≡） I was amazed at the so much altered details. Ch. 12 was a shock even though I didn't understand a word lol. Poor Hagi ;;_;;

*goes to view more*